Saying “this past week has been overwhelming” is definitely an understatement. My left eye has been twitching the last few days and I am convinced it’s stress-induced…so is the constant mother and daughter battles. (Well, in my daughter’s defense, she’s 4 and in her world things can get pretty dramatic). 🙂 I can only imagine how much more dramatic things can get at 14! God help us all!!
Needless to say, Alan and I are in a season of what I call ‘The Trust Test’. It’s like God giving us a pop quiz: Question 1: Who is in control? Answers: A. You B. Me
HA! Seems like an easy answer, huh? But the funny thing is that our answer really lies in how we act. Even though I’ve been through this test numerous times, it can still be challenging. The good thing is that I know we’ve grown because of how much faster we are in letting go.
So here we are in need of $40,000 for the adoption. For a planner like me, not having it all together and ready to go is a bit nerve-wrecking (to say the least). I’ve never been a spontaneous person or as some (LC staff) may refer to it as suffering from a ‘lack of flexibility’…but I’ve realized this is God’s way of shaking my independence. He wants us to be dependent on Him so He sheds just enough light for us to take a few steps. (Psalm 119:105)
I look back at my life and He’s been more than faithful. He’s been gracious, generous and dependable! So as my pastor (Craig) preached awhile back, I’ve just had to preach to my soul, “Soul, be still and remember what God has done in the past…just remember!" $40,000 or $400,000- doesn’t even matter. We know He’ll come through and there’s not any amount of money I wouldn’t give to bring our baby home!
